The Dreaded Brussels Sprouts

Everyone in my family knows how I feel about Brussels Sprouts.

In a nutshell, they’re yucky.

My mom would serve them every once in a while when I was a kid. I remember the feeling of dread that I felt when I realized what the vegetable du jour would be.

Sometimes I’d try to eat them, peeling off a leaf at a time and swallowing each leaf whole with large gulps of water.

Other times, I’d just cut them into as many pieces as I possibly could and then smear them around my plate and hiding them in other food scraps.

No one was fooled. My family took great delight in teasing me about it. My older brother would grab the serving bowl, help himself to a few Brussels sprouts, then loudly ask in a sing-song voice, “Oh Jolie, wouldn’t you like some?”

And that’s pretty much the last time I’ve come into contact with the smelly little things.

Until now. I’ve gotten to the point where I regularly cook and eat many of the veggies that I used to hate as a kid, even the green bell peppers that took me an extra long time to warm up to, so I recently decided I should give Brussels sprouts another chance. I’m almost 30, after all. Couldn’t it be that this lingering revulsion is all in my head?

So I found this recipe for maple-glazed Brussels sprouts and decided to give it a shot.

I decided to have them as a side with some boneless pork chops, sauteed in a frying pan after getting a thorough rubdown with smoky sweet seasoning. This is irrelevant to my story about Brussels sprouts, but I wanted to share this picture that I took because I like it.

First things first, I wanted to blanch the Brussels sprouts. I’ve done this with other veggies – it’s basically boiling for just a few minutes, then shocking them with an ice water bath. It’s a way to cook them without them losing color and without making them mushy. It’s wonderful with broccoli.

But I digress. Okay, here are my Brussels sprouts in the boiling water.

Followed by an ice bath!

The recipe says that the Brussels sprouts should be blanched, trimmed, and halved. I took that to mean that I was supposed to do those three things in that order. So I did. Here they are after. In retrospect, I could have trimmed a lot more off, but oh well. This was my first time.

Next step: sauté some sliced onions and red peppers. Or just onions if you don’t have bell peppers.

After about 5 minutes, I added the Brussels sprouts and sautéed them, too.

Meanwhile, I whipped up a glaze with soy sauce, Dijon mustard, maple syrup, salt, and pepper.

Finally, I poured the glaze into the pan with everything else and let it thicken up.

Served on a plate, this is what I had:

I was really disappointed. I tasted strong bitter flavor, masked somewhat inefficiently with sweet. The texture was too firm, as if they weren’t cooked enough, though I followed the directions exactly, and they just weren’t good! The onions also seemed out of place.

To be fair, taste is subjective. Hubby didn’t actually mind them that much, and he ate everything on his plate. I didn’t. I could have – this was certainly better than plain, steamed Brussels sprouts, and I could have sucked it up to be polite if someone else had made it, but I just was unenthused. I ended up throwing out the leftovers, plus the ones on my plate that I didn’t eat.

I turned to facebook. After talking to some of my much wiser friends on there, I realized that I’d made some key mistakes. First, I should have taken the time to trim and peel the Brussels sprouts before blanching. It would have removed a lot of the bitterness, which is primarily what I found unpleasant.

Okay, that was really the extent of what I learned. But it was really important. One friend said that when she boiled whole Brussels sprouts, she scores an x into them to help them cook evenly, and if I’d read the original recipe page more thoroughly, I would have realized that they suggested that, as well. Or I could have halved them, and it would also have helped.

All that aside, my friends pretty much all agreed that roasted Brussels sprouts were the way to go and strongly encouraged me to try it.

So I did.

I did it hesitantly, telling myself that if I disliked this, I would never again eat another Brussels sprout and no one could make me. I also did it while drinking a large glass of merlot. I felt as though I needed a little encouragement. Don’t judge.

But I really was intrigued enough by my friends reports that I had to at least try roasting before giving up. A good friend said she makes them all the time and that she and her husband call them candy because they’re so good. I couldn’t comprehend this, but I was so, so curious.

This time I trimmed, peeled, and halved them first.

They were a lot lighter in color after I removed the dark outer leaves.

This was my discard pile!

I dropped one of the leaves. Puppy stole it and ran away. I considered stopping her, but then giggled and let her discover the bitterness as her own little punishment. Then I had more wine.

Over the trimmed and peeled sprouts, I drizzled olive oil.

And then added plenty of salt

And pepper.

I stirred it all up to make sure that they were evenly coated, then turned them out onto a greased cookie sheet.

After some time in a 400 degree oven, this is what they looked like.

Haha, I had no idea until now that I somehow ended up with a picture of me. I have no idea what happened here, and it definitely wasn’t a deliberate attempt to be artsy and photograph myself, but I find it funny so I’ll share it.

So, here they are. Roasted, crispy, salty.

Turns out, they really were so much better! The intense bitterness of before was gone. The unpleasant firmness was also gone, replaced by a soft sprout encased in a delicate, crunchy, tasty shell.

They were very, very salty. I think this was my fault, as I had reduced the number of sprouts in the recipe without adjusting salt or pepper. But it was okay.

Brace yourself for this next statement, for it is profound:

I ate the leftovers.

I did! I ate leftover Brussels sprouts. I did it somewhat gleefully and even considered calling my mom to inform her that I was eating my Brussels sprouts, but in the end, I didn’t. I just smiled with self-satisfaction and told the dogs that they should be proud of me. They didn’t seem impressed.

Granted, these aren’t my favorite. They were pretty good, but they weren’t the best thing ever. But they were good enough for me to go back to the store, purchase MORE BRUSSELS SPROUTS, and make it again.

I’ll pause to let that sink in.

I’m thankful for friends who pointed me in the right direction!

Adrienne’s Famous Bean Salsa

I’m not sure how long my sister-in-law, Adrienne, has been making this bean salsa for my family. I’ve been out of state for a while so I haven’t been savvy to who brings what side dishes to gatherings. But everyone in our family knows about it so it’s probably been a while.

All I know is that when hubby and I moved back to NY this summer, she invited us to join her and my brother at her parents’ cottage on the lake for an afternoon. We were sitting on the patio in the shade, watching boats go by and sipping cold beer. Hubby and I had just eaten lunch so we weren’t particularly hungry, and we pretty much ignored the bean salsa that was sitting on the table. For a little whole.

Then, during a lull in the conversation, I picked up a tortilla chip and scooped some out.

Then I couldn’t stop, even though I was full. So nummy. Scoop after scoop.

Afterwards, I wanted it again, but didn’t want to make it just for hubby and I because I knew that it makes a lot. And it’s one of those recipes that’s very difficult to halve because you’re using a can of beans here, a can of corn there, an envelope of seasoning there, etc.

But then Adrienne invited some people over. Now was my chance! It’s a little silly to bring over someone’s own recipe, but I did it anyway.

Here are my ingredients:

Start with the green bell pepper.

Dice it up, and then do the same with a sweet onion.

And then a couple tomatoes.

Next, open up cans of black beans, black eyed peas, and corn. Drain and rinse, then add to the diced veggies.

Then take a tablespoon of minced garlic. This took me forever to prepare, peeling and mincing a ton of small cloves. Better than the stuff from a jar, though.

Plop it on top of everything else.

Oh, and then cut open a lime

And squeeze it over the whole thing.

Now for some seasonings… Oregano…

Basil (from the tube in my fridge)…

And cilantro (also from a tube).

Finally, in a little bowl, combine some olive oil…

and vinegar (I wasn’t sure what kind, so I used white wine vinegar)…

and a packet of Italian dressing mix.

Mix it up, and pour on top of the salsa!

And with that, you’re done!

Chill it for a few hours, then serve with tortilla chips.

It’s so addicting. Seriously. The dressing mix tenderizes the veggies and makes such a delicious flavor. You’re supposed to drain before serving, but I happen to love the Italian dressing/ veggie juice mixture sitting at the bottom of the bowl, so I didn’t.

So when can I have this again?

Chicken Parmesan Casserole

Once again, I’m ignoring my own don’t-blog-other-bloggers’-stuff rule for this post. Chef John at foodwishes.com posted about what he called “the most popular chicken recipe video in the history of the Internet.” Um, of course I needed to jump on the bandwagon and try it for myself. And once I did, I realized that I needed to share it with you so that you will know how important it is for you to try this recipe, as well. It’s vital, actually.

It starts out easy enough. A bit of olive oil, minced garlic, and red pepper flakes in the bottom of a Pyrex dish.

I smeared it around with a pastry brush, then added some chicken breasts (Chef John added that you could give them a quick pan-fry first, but I chose not to dirty another dish. Sue me).

Followed by a jar of spaghetti sauce. I used Wegman’s brand “Grandma’s Pomodoro Sauce.”

Then some grated Parmesan cheese (I didn’t use fresh but it would have been better if I had)…

… and grated mozzarella (same deal as with the Parmesan)…

… topped by a bag of garlic croutons. This part is so important and awesome. Just pour the croutons on top, spread them out, and smoosh them down a bit with your hand. They will give the final product an awesome flavor and texture.

And then top with more Parmesan and mozzarella!

And with that, they go in the oven. I used a meat thermometer to monitor the best cooking time, since it seemed that a lot of commenters had trouble with that. When it was done, this is what my casserole looked like:

Here’s a close-up. Yummmmm.

To serve, just try to get a chicken breast out of the dish with the cheese and croutons over it intact. Eat any stray pieces right out of the pan with your fingers.

I served with some green beans and a garlic knot. Oh, it was so good. Those croutons added such a nice flavor and texture to the chicken. This was such a quick, easy meal, and it had such a restaurant-quality finish to it. I highly recommend that you give it a try!