Quiche Lorraine

When I was taking French in middle school and learning about French culture, one question on a test concerned the ingredients in quiche. I remember drawing on my knowledge from my mom’s famous tuna quiche and selected ingredients from a bank. My teacher marked it wrong because she said that tuna doesn’t go in quiche. Obviously she’d never had tuna quiche made by my mom. Oh, the injustice.

Much, much later, I decided to look into making a quiche that my French teacher would approve of. I’m pretty sure we learned about Quiche Lorraine so that’s what I went with.

When I made this last week, I started with leftover glazed ham 

and chopped it up.

I made a homemade pie crust and covered the bottom of it with the ham.

At this point, you’re supposed to cover it with Gruyere cheese, but Mexican-blend is all that I had. Totally not the same thing, but go with it.

Next, I turned to the onions. First, mince it up.

Then put it in a pan and work on caramelizing it.

The recipe said to go until they’re soft, but I went a bit farther and got some color in them. I wanted a nice, sweet flavor from caramelization and none of that oniony flavor or texture from undercooking them.

(When I was a child, I hated the flavor and texture of onions. I still don’t like raw onions, but my hatred of them then was extreme. My dad tried to open me up to them by explaining that when cooked, onions get soft and sweet. I knew, however, with the wisdom that children have, that he was just trying to trick me into eating them and I certainly wasn’t fooled. It wasn’t until much, much, much later that I realized that he wasn’t lying to me.)

Anyway, once that’s done, spread the onions on top of the cheese.

While the onions were cooking, I started the custard with some beaten eggs.

And added some salt and nutmeg.

And stirred it all up.

Put it on the stove and add hot milk. If you’re naughty like me, sneak in a little half-and-half (Okay, okay, so we were just about out of milk and I topped it off with half-and-half. Just a little bit naughty, then).

And keep heating and stirring until it thickens up a bit.

When you’re satisfied with the creaminess, pour it carefully into the pie shell on top of everything else.

If I remember correctly, this was too much liquid for a store-bought crust, but it was just about perfect for my homemade one.

I decided to crimp the edges after all. Totally not too late.

Pop it in the oven for wayyy longer than the 30 minutes that the recipe claims, and you’re good to go.

Magnifique!

Great for dinner, even better for breakfast.

Maple and Brown Sugar Glazed Ham

Hubby and I were lucky enough to receive some goodies from Omaha Steaks for Christmas, all wrapped up and frozen and waiting for a time for us to be ready for them. That time would have come earlier if I hadn’t forgotten about them, but it did eventually come.

One of the goodies was a big ol’ boneless chunk of ham. I’m sure that cut probably has a legitimate name, but I don’t know what it is. Rather than simply heating according to the directions on the package, I decided to attempt to make a glaze for it. A quick search online and I found a decent recipe. I quartered it, since it was intended for a full-size holiday feast. I knew that it would still be a lot, but dividing the quantities by 4 was about the extent of my willingness to do math.

First, I melted one and a half tablespoons of butter. In retrospect, I am an idiot and that should have been one and a half teaspoons. I could do the math (I wrote it down correctly), but I just couldn’t get beyond that, apparently. Okay, here’s more butter than I needed.

I added a quarter cup of maple syrup. God, I love maple syrup.

Then 1 1/2 teaspoons (yes, teaspoons this time) of honey and a tablespoon of brown sugar. I know it looks like I put two in there, but that’s because my measuring spoon was 1/2 tbsp. The 1 tbsp one was dirty. Boo yah.

Anyway, heat it up a bit and let the sugars melt together.

Okay, here’s the thawed ham, chilling out in a greased dish.

I poured the sauce over the ham and baked it, according to the directions on the package. I think the recipe for the glaze recommended basting, and that probably would have been great, but I just wasn’t willing to be that involved. I did put some aluminum foil over top, though, as per the recipe.

And this is what it looked like at the end:

Sliced up all nice and paired with some rice and a salad.

My salad included a sliced avocado just because I could and I wanted to indulge. I whipped up a batch of that maple-dijon salad dressing, and that pairing was divine. The sweetness of the ham glaze with the sweetness of the salad was perfect.

I tried to balance the sweetness with a bit of saltiness by putting soy sauce on some rice. The effect was bizarre and not nearly as pleasant as I would have expected. The soy sauce was a bad choice, though it wasn’t horrible.

And that was dinner!

The glaze was really nice. It was more watery than I expected or really wanted, but I suppose that could have had something to do with putting three times as much butter as I was supposed to. But it was sweet and yummy, and the ham was juicy.

I followed up with a 100-calorie Skinny Cow vanilla ice cream with caramel, from our freezer. I wasn’t the only one who thought it looked delicious.

Chicken Cordon Bleu

I’m not real sure what possessed me to try this recipe, other than hubby and I had purchased too much deli meat and cheese and I was feeling adventurous. It had been a while since I tried something creative like this, so I thought I’d give it a go.

Warning: It didn’t look nearly as elegant as it should have.

First, pound some chicken breasts out and put a slice of ham and a slice of cheese. I used Monterey jack instead of Swiss because that’s what I had. Roll it up, ideally not letting the insides peek out, and secure with toothpicks.

MUCH HARDER THAN IT SOUNDS. Mine looked ridiculous with all those brightly-colored party toothpicks sticking out in all directions.

Mix flour and paprika in a bowl, and then dip each piece of chicken in the mixture. Everything wanted to come unpinned, and the toothpicks made it hard to coat the chicken. But I managed, I guess.

Fry the chicken in butter. Very healthy.

After it’s browned on all sides, add some dry white wine and chicken bouillon granules. Cover and let it simmer on low for about a half hour. Forgot a picture, sorry.

In the meantime, whisk together heavy cream and cornstarch.

When the chicken is cooked thoroughly, take it out of the pan. Put it on a plate and set it in a warm oven.

Gradually pour the cream sauce into the wine sauce in the pan, mixing continually until it thickens up. Then just serve the chicken and pour the wine cream sauce over it.

Not bad, not bad! It was a little labor intensive for what it is, but it’s also a nice fancy twist on simple chicken breast. Hubby didn’t have any because he’d eaten at Taco Bell on the way home, but he ate a good portion the next day and I think he liked it. I know I did. It was very flavorful and filling, and the cream sauce kept leftovers from being dry.

Recipe in the Tastebook soonish.

Hors d'oeuvres

On Sunday afternoon, Andy was having some people from work over. Some he knew quite well, others he didn't, but no one really knew each others' family members and he thought it would be nice to socialize outside of work.

I was tasked with making appetizers and eagerly jumped to the challenge.



I did some recipe searches online and came up with a few things that I wanted to try. At this point, there were indications that one couple might back out of plans, but I decided to go ahead and prepare everything anyway, just in case everything went as planned. While I was wrapping up at the grocery store, though, Andy texted to tell me that that one couple had definitively backed out. I was still fairly certain that everyone else was coming, so I finished up the shopping trip as normal and headed home.

#1: Alabama Sushi

To be honest, the original recipe name was something lame like "yummy roll-ups," as if a 10-year-old named it. Judging by what they are, I wouldn't be surprised if the inventor was actually 10 years old. But, one of the reviewers commented that her family has made these for years and calls them "Alabama Sushi." Something about that name strikes me as humorous, so I've decided to stick with it.



Alabama sushi is different, simple, and unique. First, lay some slices of ham down and blot them dry. I doubled up on the ham since my slices were thin. Second, smear them with cream cheese. The cheese must be softened for this to work, though, so if you forget to take it out of the fridge in advance, at least zap it in the microwave for 10-15 seconds. It made a big difference.



Third, lay a whole pickle on each slice, and roll the ham up tightly. I used baby whole pickles instead of spears, which the original recipe called for, as I figured the crunchy texture would be best. In the end I was glad I had.



Finally, stick a bunch of party toothpicks into the rolls to hold them in place.



Some of the reviewers complained that it got pretty messy trying to slice the rolls immediately, so when I reached this point, I decided to chill them in the fridge while I worked on other things.

When I finally took them out and sliced them, this is what I had...



Voila!

According to the recipe reviews, there are a lot of possible pickle substitutions (pickled asparagus, which I didn't even know existed, plus green onion, pickled okra, or sweet Gherkins) and meat substitutions (smoked salmon, dried beef, salami, or prosciutto). One reviewer suggested adding a half package of dry ranch dressing and 1/4 cup of mayo to the cream cheese, and of all the possible changes, I think that this last one is what I would do to spice this up a bit.

In general, though, Andy and I both really liked these yummy roll-ups (erm, Alabama sushi rolls). They tasted pretty much exactly like what you would expect a pickle wrapped up in cream cheese and ham to taste like, except actually appetizing. The crunch was pleasant, and the tartness was mediated by the evenness of the cream cheese. Different, certainly, but also tasty and addicting.

At this point, cancellation texts were starting to trickle in. It looked like more people were backing out or professing other plans. I had already bought 10 jalapeno peppers and bacon for the next appetizer, so I decided to make them anyway.

#2: Stuffed Jalapenos



The reviews of this recipe were downright glowing. The only complaint seemed to be "They're too spicy!" but I wasn't too concerned about that. Andy grew up eating Cajun food and I grew up in Buffalo, where moving from "medium" to "hot" chicken wings is practically a rite of passage into adulthood, so we both enjoy spice.

When I grew cayenne peppers in a pot on my balcony last summer, I learned that the seeds and membrane hold most of the pepper's heat, so I was careful to take care of this early on. I started off slicing each jalapeno pepper lengthwise and removing the stem, seeds, and as much of the light-colored membrane inside as possible. Then I washed my hands very thoroughly, so as to avoid transferring the spice to anything else.



According to the recipe, prep time is supposed to be about 10 minutes. At this point, I'd already been busy for at least 20, if not 30 minutes, and that was only the first step. I'm not sure if I was being too careful with cleaning out the seeds, but it certainly seems like 10 minutes is ridiculously optimistic. Anyway, next, I stuffed each half with cream cheese.



I put the halves back together, wrapped them in uncooked bacon, and secured them with a toothpick. To make clean-up easy, I put them all on a foil-lined cookie sheet sprayed with nonstick cooking spray, and that seemed to work well.



After about 40 minutes in the oven, they came out looking like this:



They were good, but I was a bit disappointed that they weren't as phenomenal as the reviews had led me to believe. They weren't very spicy, honestly, and the cream cheese seemed like it should have been flavored with something. But they were decent and all but two got eaten. I think I will make this again, but I'll have to spice it up somehow.

By this point, it was pretty apparent that it was just going to be Andy and I. We were both disappointed and a bit grumpy, but I went ahead and made my third appetizer anyway. After all, I had 3 avocados and who knows how long those are good for. *sigh*

#3: Guacamole

I love guacamole. Love it. And I am convinced that homemade guacamole probably surpasses anything you'd find in a restaurant, or at least at the grocery store, though I wouldn't know from experience. I'd made it once before, but only in a very small quantity (1 avocado's worth) using a recipe inside my friend Diana's head. I was eager to give it another shot and, if it was a success, save the recipe for future batches.



I started off with 3 avocados peeled and pitted. I mashed them up and added both lime juice and salt.



Then I diced up cilantro, onion, and a roma tomato.



The recipe called for a half cup of diced onion, but that seemed like too much and I added more like a quarter or a third cup. I also only used one tomato, rather than 2, as it seemed like plenty once I'd added it to the mashed avocado. Andy pointed out that using my food processor would have been a lot easier, but sometimes I just really prefer using a knife. I suppose that this is at least partly because it allows me to transfer my frustrations into a useful product, and I was a bit frustrated that we were being stood up.

With a bit of minced garlic and some cayenne pepper, this is what I ended up with:



Reviewers had complained that the end result was too limey and too salty, so I'd reduced both amounts in my original mixture. After tasting the final product, I went ahead and added the full amounts.

I think Andy and I agree that (a) this was the best guacamole either of us had had in a long time, and (b) this was winner of the day. It was absolutely delicious. Ooops, an article I read recently told me never to use the word "delicious" in a food blog, as it is overused and meaningless. Okay, then. The guacamole was deliberately chunky, and the lime, cilantro, and garlic flavors melded to create a flavor that was extremely satisfying when scooped up with salty tortilla chips. I hope that's more helpful.

I decided to stop at this point. I'd also picked up materials for a Buffalo chicken dip, as well as pesto pitas, and I'd FINALLY found tahini in my grocery store and so therefore had materials to make hummus, but it was silly to make any of this when we already had too much food for the both of us. Instead, I decided that I needed a drink. My husband took pity on me and humored me. Together we went out in the pouring rain to pick up some beer.



Mmmm, that's much better. Somehow aprihop beer tastes like spring, and after a long winter, that is just what we needed.

I had also picked up some cocktail shrimp, so when we got back from our emergency beer run, we sat at the kitchen bar eating our Alabama sushi, stuffed jalapenos, guacamole and chips, and shrimp with cocktail sauce. I'm not sure if it was the comforting sound of the rain, the feeling of the cool breeze drifting through the window screens, the beer, or the food, but I found myself feeling very content, even though no one had come. Andy and I settled on the couch with our puppies at our feet, watching a funny movie while eating every last bit of that guacamole and drinking too many beers. And at the end, I was happy that it was just the two of us.